<![CDATA[RESPONSE Agency, Inc. - RESPONSE Agency Blog]]>

<![CDATA[RESPONSE Agency, Inc. - RESPONSE Agency Blog]]>Wed, 17 Dec 2025 17:01:24 -0800Weebly<![CDATA[From the I Admit I’m Lazy Departent]]>Thu, 05 Jun 2025 16:21:17 GMThttp://www.responseagency.com/response-agency-blog/from-the-i-admit-im-lazy-departentI have blogged since 2023.
Honest.
Just not here.

Actually, I have been blogging. Honest. It’s just that I’ve been posting on my other site, SteveCuno.com. To check out my more recent posts, please visit Cunoblog by clicking here.

]]><![CDATA[Walmart provides a study in bad PR]]>Sun, 10 Sep 2023 16:05:16 GMThttp://www.responseagency.com/response-agency-blog/walmart-provides-a-study-in-bad-prWalmart breaks a PR rule

ANY OF US could fill pages when it comes to Walmart’s various abuses, as well as the effects of those abuses on the economy, and, therefore, on us all. But today I’m going to comment on just one recent announcement.

Permit me to open with a PR and advertising rule that I have always found useful:

Don’t assume the public is stupid.

Granted, a good deal of the public behave stupidly at times, like when they purchase homeopathic products, believe in psychics, or support Donald Trump. But to assume the public is stupid will sooner or later come back to bite you. Because “behave stupidly at times” is a far cry from “overall stupid.”

With that as groundwork, let’s return to Walmart. The chain just announced that it is going to equalize starting pay throughout its stores. Before you give them a thumbs-up for their generosity, you might want to know that by “equalize starting pay,” they don’t mean “raise all starting pay to match that of the highest-paying stores.” They mean literally the opposite.

But wait, hold on! What about all those jobs going unfilled, at least in part because the pay is too low? Well, according to Associated Press writer Ann d’Innocenzio, “the U.S. job market is starting to loosen up bit. America’s employers added 187,000 jobs in August, evidence of a slowing but still-resilient labor market.” At the risk of putting words in d’Innocenzio’s mouth, the way I read that is: With the worker shortage showing signs of abating, Walmart is hell-bent on a pay policy that helped create it.

But of course Walmart can’t put it that way. That would be bad PR.

But so is spewing bull****. Take, for instance, the official statement from Walmart spokesperson Anne Hatfield:

“Consistent starting pay results in consistent staffing and better customer service while also creating new opportunities for associates to gain new skills from experience across the store and lay the groundwork for their career.”

Come on, Walmart. Stop trying to make it sound as if underpaying is a thoughtful move to improve service and bolster career opportunities. It’s a cost-saving measure. Own it, Walmart. Defend it if you like, if you can, but don’t deny it. And for heaven’s sake don’t expect us to believe that you have customers’ and employees’ best interest at heart by paying less.

Telling the truth, even when the truth is unsavory, is almost always the better PR move. Your customers, of which on as few occasions as possible I am one, aren’t as dumb as you seem to think we are.

]]><![CDATA[Lying sells, but please find another way.]]>Thu, 31 Aug 2023 15:16:43 GMThttp://www.responseagency.com/response-agency-blog/lying-sells-but-please-find-another-wayMore on lying in marketing

My prior post was about a vendor who thought lying was a great way to win new clients. Here’s another one.

The sad thing is, lying sells. Otherwise, emails like the one pictured would have ceased long ago. Also, consider the success of homeopathy, natural/organic/gluten-free foods, psychics, acupuncture, chiropractic ... the list goes on. None of the above perform as promised. Yet the public shells out.

Until the buying public learns to practice healthy skepticism, they will forever be at the mercy of charlatans. Meanwhile, here’s to marketers who don’t resort to lying. Which I still believe is the majority of us.

]]><![CDATA[Lying is a great way to lose my business]]>Sat, 06 May 2023 19:10:00 GMThttp://www.responseagency.com/response-agency-blog/lying-is-a-great-way-to-lose-my-businessDear Prospective Vendor: Lying isn’t a good look

Lying is never a good look, but it’s at its worst when it starts with the very first contact.

So, unless you truly have specific recommendations after perusing my website, don’t say that you have. You’ve no idea how easy it is to ascertain that you didn’t even open my site. Which makes you dead in the water, for I prefer not to work with liars.

If learning a little about my business before approaching me is too much trouble, unimpressive though that is, at least be honest about it. When one fellow wrote, “You must get hundreds of notes from people like me, who found your contact info on a list,” I appreciated the candor and heard him out.

My hat is off to a would-be vendor who approached me last week. Her opening line referenced something she could only have found on an inner page of one of my websites. Thus she didn’t say but demonstrated that she’d done a bit of homework. I heard her out, too.

❖ ❖ ❖

]]><![CDATA[Beware the default benefit]]>Fri, 17 Feb 2023 19:55:24 GMThttp://www.responseagency.com/response-agency-blog/beware-the-default-benefitAfter posting about “the default benefit” on my author site, I realized it probably should have been here instead. Oh well. Please click here to read it. I promise it’s safe.
]]><![CDATA[Rare case of integrity paying off]]>Thu, 09 Feb 2023 18:14:41 GMThttp://www.responseagency.com/response-agency-blog/rare-case-of-integrity-paying-offBeware when “How much do you have?” is the answer to “How much will it cost?”

Many ad agencies charge for creative services this way:

1. They find out how much is in your budget.
2. That’s the price.

I think that’s theft. Legitimate businesses determine the worth of their services and price accordingly.

So when I opened the Response Agency (way back in 1994!), I decided to price according to project scope, the value I attach to my skill and expertise, and the value the client attaches to having me, versus someone else, do the project.

It’s admittedly fuzzy, but it’s fairer than simply helping myself to the client’s entire budget, earned or not. If I feel I have been fairly compensated and leave behind money I could have taken, that’s not only okay but good business.

It’s not as if my straightforward approach to pricing rewards me with increased work and loyalty. Clients tend to see what the price tag is, not what it would have been elsewhere. But that’s not the reason I do it. Integrity motivated by hope of reward isn’t really integrity anyway.

But there was one time that my policy paid off:

A newly hired account executive collected from a client twice the price I’d calculated, as his former employer would have had him do. I sat him down and said, “One, you didn’t know better, so I’ll commission you on the original amount you collected. Two, I’m going to refund half the client’s money. Three, don’t do it again.”

He thought I was naive.

A few weeks later, he was pitching a prospective client who happened to ask if he could trust that Cuno guy. “Let me tell you a story,” said the account executive. Which is what won us the account.

]]><![CDATA[Unselling a dishwasher with one sentence]]>Tue, 08 Nov 2022 22:24:47 GMThttp://www.responseagency.com/response-agency-blog/unselling-a-dishwasher-with-one-sentenceHow to blow a great opener

Dear Beko:

I don’t envy anyone who writes ads for dishwashers. There just aren’t that many ways to say “this thing will clean your dishes.” Thus my hat is off to your copywriter for coming up with the first line in the attached ad:

Our new dishwashers perform flawlessly using 50% less water and 25% less energy than U.S. standards for dishwashers, saving money and the planet too.

That’s killer copy. The photo rocks, too, with a view through a window that subtlety reinforces “uses 50% less water.”

But the writer blew it with the second and final line:

Did we just sell you a new dishwasher with a single sentence?

Um, no, you didn’t. You intrigued me. And then you promptly un-intrigued me with presumptuous gloating.

If you were smart, you would have told me to call or visit one of the dealers that you’d listed below the ad or directed me to a website. Then, one of your dealers could have closed the sale.

The writer who penned the ad, the creative director who signed off on it, and the client who approved it should be pilloried.

The art director, however, deserves praise.

Sincerely,
Steve Cuno

Click image to enlarge.

]]><![CDATA[From the Blowing Smoke Back at the Smoke-blower Dept.]]>Wed, 13 Jul 2022 18:57:59 GMThttp://www.responseagency.com/response-agency-blog/from-the-blowing-smoke-back-at-the-smoke-blower-dept

If evasion pays, it didn’t this time.

I HAVE A thing about salespeople seeking to create an impression of having done due diligence before contacting me. You know, so I won’t think they’re wasting my time with a cold call. Which is, in fact, just what they’re doing.

Earlier this year, I suspected that I had heard from two such. Having a bit of time on my hands, I decided to give them some rope. One came up breathing just fine, that is, proved himself legit. What follows is my email exchange with the other, whom I’ll call Harvey, who did a fine job of hanging himself.

Hi Steve,

I figured out that your company might be spending a lot of time and human resources in hiring more and more resources to meet the demands.

So, do you need more bright young talents to help you grow your agency?

Harvey

* * *

Harvey,

This is fascinating to me. How did you figure that out?

Steve Cuno

* * *

Hello Steve,

Thank you for your interest in replying. I’d be happy to jump in on a call to give you an in-depth review of our process.

We can have a quick chat to discuss all your requirements in depth.

Here is a link to My Calendar to set up a Virtual Coffee.

I look forward to hearing from you!

Harvey

* * *

Thanks for the reply, Harvey.

Your initial note makes quite the claim: “I figured out that your company might be spending a lot of time and human resources in hiring more and more resources to meet the demands.” That’s impressive. Hence my question, namely, how you figured that out. Your follow-up note doesn’t address that, and I’d really like to know before we move on to next steps.

That was Question 1. Your reply, however, has introduced two more questions:

(2) You suggest a “quick chat” for an in-depth review of your process and an in-depth discussion of all my requirements. How do you propose to pull off two in-depth conversations in a quick chat?

(3) Why not skip the in-depth conversation about my requirements, since you have, apparently, already figured them out, and cut straight to your proposed solutions?

Before I consider virtual coffee, I really need you to answer all three questions. Speaking of which, do you serve virtual decaf? Doctor’s orders, you know.

Steve Cuno

* * *

Hello Steve,

First of all, accept my apologies for the delay in getting back to you.

I was really overwhelmed with the usual overflow of work that's why I would like to answer your questions over a "virtual decaf" 😉

Just kidding, I really understand your concerns over the questions you asked. My idea of in-depth discussion of your requirements is to collect the gist of information initially and then I can add my value to it. In our quick chat or virtual decaf, we can discuss things with more clarity and transparency.

After our conversation, I can provide personalised solutions which would be of greater value.

Let's Connect and see if we are a good fit to work together.

Here is a link to My Calendar to find time easier.

I look forward to hearing from you!

Harvey

* * *

Hi Harvey,

I’m still confused. Your initial email said you’d figured out that my company might be spending a lot of time and human resources in hiring more and more resources to meet the demands. My question, still unanswered, was, how did you figure that out?

Steve

Much time has passed without further word from Harvey. I therefore assume the conversation is over, hence my decision to share it. I hope you enjoyed it.

* * *

]]><![CDATA[If your god is pro-discrimination, pony up.]]>Thu, 17 Mar 2022 17:34:30 GMThttp://www.responseagency.com/response-agency-blog/if-your-god-is-pro-discrimination-pony-upFreedom to worship a cruel god shouldn’t be free

IN A RECENT opinion piece published in The Oregonian, the owners of Sweet Cakes by Melissa attempted a defense of an imagined right not to sell wedding cakes to same-sex couples. Their case rests principally on the Argument from My God Says THOSE PEOPLE Are ICKY.

Bully for their odious god, but in the United States, freedom of worship and freedom of practice are not the same thing. That’s why Jehovah’s Witnesses are free to believe God forbids blood transfusions but cannot legally deny their minor child a medically necessary one. It’s why Mormon polygamist cult leader Warren Jeffs is serving a life sentence even though he is free to believe that God thinks sexually assaulting minor children is wholesome. It’s why jihadists are free to believe that Allah would prefer your head not remain in the vicinity of your body if you draw Muhammad but are nonetheless well advised not to behead you.

“Hold on,” say some, “why can’t businesses decide whom they will and won’t serve?” Well, maybe they could — if they were willing to cover on their own the entire cost of doing business. They’re not. All of us — L, G, B, T, Q, +, straight, and other — chip in for services benefiting their business. We pay to build and maintain roads and sidewalks that provide access to their store. We pay for street lamps, police protection, and fire protection to keep their business and customers safe. We pay to maintain courts should they need to settle a dispute. And more.

If the bakery owners would reimburse that portion of those taxes to all LGBTQ+ couples, as well as to all others who prefer not to support discrimination, then I might acknowledge their “right” to discriminate.

Acknowledge, but not support.

How I wish Sweet Cakes by Melissa would ask the RESPONSE Agency to create an advocacy ad supporting their alleged case. I would experience sheer joy in telling them to take a hike. I willingly create ads to sell products on behalf of clients whose principles I find odious, but I decline if asked sell the odious principles themselves.

And, no, that’s not the same as refusing to make a cake. Forcing me to create an ad would constitute compelled speech, which is something the First Amendment protects me from having to do. (More on that in this 2017 post.) You could argue that placing same-sex figurines atop a cake and writing “Congratulations James and Fred” in frosting also constitutes compelled speech, but you’d be straining at a gnat.

Still, I am not above giving the owners of Sweetcakes by Melissa this iota of free consultation: If they really wish to take a stand for their god without legal consequences, I suggest hanging a banner across their store front that says “We worship a bigoted asshole, but we’ll sell anyone a cake because the state says we have to.”

Problem solved.

❖

]]><![CDATA[New candidate for Worst Ad Award]]>Sun, 13 Feb 2022 17:45:50 GMThttp://www.responseagency.com/response-agency-blog/new-candidate-for-worst-ad-awardHow not to advertise reverse mortgages

IF YOU DISLIKE reverse mortgages, odds are you have been misinformed. And ads like the one pictured aren’t helping.

What a reverse mortgage is

The widely misunderstood and unjustly maligned reverse mortgage is no more nor less than a deferred payment program. You make your monthly payments in one lump when you sell, or, upon your passing, when your heirs sell or refinance. Chances are you’ll have more than enough equity to cover the lump, and you or your heirs get to keep the surplus, which is likely to be considerable. In the extremely unlikely event your home’s equity won’t cover the lump sum, that’s the lender’s problem, not yours.

I switched to a reverse mortgage on my last Utah home. It was like giving myself a tax-free raise in the amount of what had been my monthly payment. When I sold the home three years later, I made out so well that I obtained a reverse mortgage to purchase my current home in Oregon. (For information, I commend you to my loan officer and subsequent friend Dan Mabey of BOE Mortgage. He is licensed in all 50 states. Email him by clicking here.)

Anyhoo, on to the ad. Egad. The ad.

There’s the photo. Smart advertisers feature people the target market can identify with. Picturing silly old farts does not a good start make. I suppose you could argue that I am, indeed, a silly old fart. Fine. I still don’t care to identify as one.

There’s the copy. It fails to say what reverse mortgages are, what they do, or how they work. It fails to dispel misinformation. It lists benefits so vague as to promote, not allay, reader suspicions. It is devoid of content that would motivate anyone to say, “Maybe I should look into this.” Quite the opposite: the copy is all but repellent.

Oh, and reverse type cuts readership—significantly. So does setting copy in all-caps. Fewer readers mean fewer buyers.

Someone paid good money to create and place this ad. My mind’s ear imagines a defender saying, “But it’s creative!”

Er, no. It isn’t.

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