In hopes of selling more shampoo to women, Procter & Gamble is conducting research to learn the emotional implications of a bad hair day. Honest. I’m not making this up.

So far, researchers report that bad hair days make women feel “ashamed,” “nervous,” “guilty” or “jittery.” And a good hair day makes them feel “excited,” “proud” and “interested.”

Some funny things about research like that:

1) P&G spent godknowshowmuch on interviewing thousands of women, and that’s what they have to show for it?

2) Words like “ashamed,” “nervous,” “guilty” and “jittery” have such broad application, you would be hard-pressed to prove them wrong. What you can’t disprove, you can’t prove; and when you can’t disprove or prove something, you don’t know if it’s right or wrong. Not the best basis for an expensive ad campaign.

3) The research is based on the underlying assumption that there really is such a thing as a bad hair day. Maybe it’s just an expression. While they’re at it, perhaps P&G should research the emotional implications of getting out of the wrong side of the bed.

There is a better, more reliable way to find out how to sell shampoo. Don’t ask women to tell you what they’ll buy; let them show you. That is, test some approaches and watch what happens. Duh.

—Steve Cuno