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My favorite mixed metaphors, 
malapropisms and oddball expressions

One hears interesting things in meetings. Some years ago, I began jotting down the more choice quotes. Here are my favorites. Be assured that I was present to hear each of the following in-person:
  • If that happens, I’m really up a pickle
  • We don’t want people reading our dirty underwear
  • People kept conjugating in the kitchen while I was trying to cook
  • That remains to be foreseen
  • Right out of the bat
  • We’ve been beating that with a dead horse
  • That’s an eggregarious sin
  • We’ve made it innoculous
  • We don’t want to get signtracked
  • I’m just trying to cut her a bone
  • It got lost in the shovel
  • My husband takes me for granite
  • Don’t give him a finger to blame
  • They had us jumping through miracles
  • Let’s make sure our ducks are covered
  • Let me preference that remark
  • I hope no one minds if I tell an ethical joke
  • That’s a big load of crock
  • I don’t know what to contribute that phenomenon to
  • Let’s get together and shoot the fat
  • I’m dried in the wool
  • We’re under the 8 ball
  • That’s a mote point
  • That’s a mute point
  • When does your insurance policy collapse?
  • At the other end of the specter
  • He suffers from acme blemishes
  • We don’t want to bite our nose to spite our face
  • He has the right aurora about him
  • Let me misspell that notion right now
  • Man, I’d run away from that with a 10 foot pole
  • It’s like peeing in a warm wind
  • Let’s make sure all our dots and i’s are crossed
  • I’ll rub my nose on that
  • That’s the anchor that holds the planes in air
  • That’s a battle we can’t bite off
  • Instead of states, Canada has providences
  • That’s older than hen’s teeth
  • That stuff is selling faster than candy on a baby’s butt
  • She’ll rape you over the coals
  • Children are impressionistic
  • That’s kind of a rub on their nose
—Steve Cuno
 


Comments

Steve Thomas
06/15/2011 06:53

Steve: To be sure, you have a certain associate who was your resource and uttered many (if not most) of these. Isn't that correct?

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Steve Cuno
06/15/2011 08:19

Said associate (who shall remain nameless) indeed provides a wealth of noteworthy expressions, however, none of them appears on this list. So prolific is he that I actually keep a separate list, just for him. Trouble is — in an uncharacteristic show of integrity — I promised never to publish them. All I will do is share a handful now and then, aloud, in private conversation.

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