Which old king? The creepy king.
Ding, dong, the creepy king is deeeeead...
This just in from the Associated Press: “Burger King’s spooky The King mascot is retiring so the struggling burger chain can refocus its marketing to reach new customers.”
In my book, not a moment too soon. I realize there are people who mistakenly thought they liked the mascot. As for me and my house, he creeped us out, “showing up,” as the AP piece puts it, “in people’s beds and peeping in their windows.” Indeed. Someone should have called the cops on the perv long ago.
“We won’t be seeing The King for a while,” a Burger King spokesman said. Which is far too soon for some of us.
—Steve Cuno